Double Dipping

Another birthday gone. Just like that. Where does the time go? This year, my birthday was on Mother's Day. Some say I double-dipped. Well, who cares? I'm a mom. I had a birthday. So what?

I got clothes again for my 'special day.' I have many 'special days' throughout the year, as a lot of women do, starting with Valentine's Day, followed by a wedding anniversary, birthday, mother's day, and later, Christmas. And I get clothes. Lots of clothes. From Sam's... always Sam's (or I should say my husband alternates between Sam's and Costco). Well, at least he's predictable.

I knew what to expect, especially when I saw that box. Still, I couldn't resist a heavy sigh when I opened my birthday present from him. It was wrapped in beautiful paper of pink and lavender and blue that I bought for a friend's birthday last April. Stuck to the corner was a baby blue, ready-made stick-on bow that was 'way too small for the rest of the box. Yep, when I peeled back the paper, the all too familiar red-top stared wearily back at me. (I have personal knowledge that it had housed several Christmas gifts going back as far as 2007, as well as this year's anniversary gift to me.) It had an abundance of creases and gouges from where multiple applications of tape had been applied and then ripped off during the unwrapping process (think the waxing scene in the movie, "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and you get the idea). The once pretty red top was now scarred, it's patina stripped away from too many unwrappings. It sagged in the middle, too, a sign of over-use and my husband's good intentions to recycle all things 'box.'

Imagine my surprise when, inside I found three casual tops: A gingham button-down, and two colorful, you-can-find-me-in-the-dark pullover tops, all very much appreciated. And two pairs of god-awful cropped pants. Ugh. I hate those as they are MOST unflattering. But they'll do fine for our camping trip this summer.

My husband has good intentions and I love him. I love that he bought me a birthday gift. I can always count on him getting me clothes, though, despite the fact that I'm trying to lose more than just a few pounds. Getting clothes in the Extra Big, and Extra Extra Big sizes always reminds me of how far I still have to go. This dieting stuff is hard, especially at my age, but I've come down a size since February--not as fast as I'd like, but good enough, I guess.

Just once, though, I'd like to get something other than clothes that come out of the bins at Sam's Club. I know it sounds as though I'm complaining... and I guess I am--sort of. But then I think: What can he get me that I don't already have? Jewelry? I've collected plenty over the years, and I hardly wear what I've got. Books? Hey, anyone who knows me knows I have had to give away books lately to make room in our little house. What, pray tell, do I want? Well, a gift card works great... anywhere will do. Since it is fly season, I could use a gift card to one of the local feed stores as Beauty, my horse, goes through about 6 bottles of fly spray every summer. And I've dropped hints that one of my favorite plants needs a bigger pot... to no avail. And my cell phone is on life support.

Oh well, I did get a promise of an afternoon out to a favorite movie with all the 'trimmings' to which I am really looking forward to. Thanks, Raymona and mom for that very welcomed gift. I haven't been to the movies since ... I can't remember. I really need a break.

So, hubby, if you read this, know that I love you very much, even for all your predictability. And predictability is good, I guess. Stability in a marriage is a good thing. I'm not up to surprises, or spontaneous, or impromptu, or anything that upsets or interrupts my very balanced but busy life.

As for the gifts, that old adage is true. It is the thought that counts... And it really is, because it means I'm still here, still making a fuss, still writing, still loving and learning. I treasure all those 'thoughts' as I hope those who receive mine do, too.

So spread the word ... or thoughts, if you will. Drop an email, e-card, or a real card to a friend or loved one (for no reason at all), or help someone you see who needs help (hold the ladder for someone who's just now taking down his Christmas lights, or if you're on the way to the store, ask your elderly neighbor if you can pick up anything for them, or help them carry in their groceries ... it doesn't have to be a BIG investment in time or money).

Be UNpredictable. Be helpful. Be kind. I've heard that change does NOT start not from the inside, as most people think, but from around the edges. Imagine that. A thought here, a helpful hand there, and voila! One thing leads to another. Commit random acts of thoughtfulness (or kindness), predictable or not. It doesn't matter. It means that you acknowledge the existence of another person, you see them, whether they're a loved one or a stranger (no matter their beliefs, ideologies, color, etc.), it doesn't really matter. All of us exist in a tenuous, unfair, and sometimes ugly world that is so big and vast that our reason for being sometimes gets lost in just trying to live, day to day, week to week, year to year. Acknowledgement from another person means there is hope, that our lives have meaning beyond the realities of a harsh and sometimes unbalanced world; we exist. And we exist, or should I say thrive on the little joys in life. So reach out. It really, truly, absolutely is ... the thought that counts. It could mean all the difference in the world.